Tuesday, June 12, 2007

An American Girl in a Great Big World

As she stood in line to buy her ticket, she realized her exhaustion and wanted to cures her job but since she just stepped out of a satisfying meeting sheaccepted the exhaustion, knowing that this part will pass and vowing to do everything in her power to avoid the mistakes others have made in her future planning. She listened to the words being spoken around her zoining out to their meaning and focusing on the sound. She watched the legless man in the line opposite and wondered how he would board the train, she also wondered how he lost his legs. Soon it was her turn and after quickly dodging a sales pitch she got her ticket and was on her way. The train was leaving from Gleis 9 at 16:13. It was now 15:32, Gleis 9 is directly across from the ticket office. In deciding what to do, she contemplated changing into the comfortable clothes and shoes she had packed the day before for just this occasion but quickly decided that would be a hassle in a small bathrom stall with a large backpack and a suitcase so she stayed in her business clothes. This particular day she had chosen her outfit carefuly around her favorite but never worn blazer. A soft, kaki, single brested, slightly longer than average and Tommy Hilfiger blazer lined in lime green. When she bought it last year she fell in love as much for the fit as for the lime green lining but had difficulty matching it to anything. Today she choose to wear it over a black tube dress. She started to thing about how sill she must look in a dress, a blazer, heels and wearing a red oversized backpack, more suitable for a backpacker than a business woman, this made her smile. She never really dressed to fit a mold, there are times she wishes she could look effortlessly pulled together but she came to grips with the fact that she wil never be a size 4 and never have straight hair so effort will always be required to look effortlessly pulled together. Since the train wouldn't get in until almost 19:00, she decided to pick up dinner to take along, sushi. On her way to the platform she stoped by Hagen Daz for a treat and then sat and waited for the train. The ice cream was the perfect distractin from waiting. Soon she boardedthe train and was lucky enough to find a free seat at one of the tables. The train was quickly overpopulated and she appriciated her table even more once she remembered she had a fresh copy of Us Weekly. What better way to pass a 3 hour train ride than with a trashy American magazine, an iPOD and eventualy sushi. She was completely in her own world as she sat in her black cocktail dress, currently sans blazer and with pink ballet slippers subbing in for the heels, listening to Dispatch and reading about Lindsay Lohen and Vanessa Milano's photo shoot with knives- the things you miss in Europe! She was happy. Us Weekly does not have enough content of photos to last a 3 hour train ride so she had plenty of time to enjoy her sushi and ponder. Quickly, her thoughts were on change, possibly inspired by the previous day's discussion on change management and possibly inspired by boreom she came to the conclusion that it was a time for a dramatic change in her life. It's time to cut her hair. She had been growing her hair for almost 3 years with only minor trims in hopes of one day chopping 10 - 12 inches to donate to Wigs for Kids. She knew it was never her hair that she carried around, it was being cultivated to harvest and pass along. Diligently, she fought the urge to dye it in any way or cut it before it was long enough. She conditioned daily and deep conditioned at least twice per week to minimize damage, breakage, split ends and any other hair crisis. She enjoyed it while it lasted but now it was time to give it to someone else. She had planned to treat herself to a fancy hair cut in New York City when it was time, as a personal reward for completing the mission. That was way out of the picture now as was her trusted hair stylest. Being one who does not easily trust new hair stylists and appriciates impulses, she decided that she would cut her hair herself, tonight. First it was just an idea but by the time the train pulled into her home station it was decided, the hair goes immediately. She pulled it into a low poneytail and looked at her reflection in the train's window, not bad. She realized she could handle this. She'd never cut her own hair more than an inch before but that wasen't going to stop her, in fact, she would have done it on th train had she had a pair of scissors. Although, after a brief conteplation she realized cutting one's own hair on the train would most likely give the wrong idea to the other passengers and scissors are probably banned on the train. It would be the first thing she would do when she walked into her apartment.

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