Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Once again, waiting for my life to begin

You know that feeling, when you're in high school and again when you are in college, just 4, 3, 2, 1 more year(s) until my life begins. I feel that way again but, speaking as someone whose life has already begun in a not so traditional sort of way, I can't decide if this is a good or bad thing. I lived in RI for the first 22 years of my life, in the same house, on the same street, in the same city, until I went to college. I spent my college years in and out of dorms, my parents house, London, camp bunks and shared houses. For the 4 + 1 years I lived in college, I never spent 2 years in the same place. In the 3 years since I've finished grad school I've had a brief stay over in my parents house followed by two apartments in two different German cities. Next month, I move into my third apartment. I claim I hate to move but somehow moving always excites me. New apartment, new decoration, new colors, new set up, etc. I sit here staring at my computer, overshadowed by the gray, cold day out my window and think about moving. Moving out of Mannheim, in 3 years when my life begins. I daydream about a summer in the US. First I think about the familiar East Coast and then my mind wanders across the country to California's sunshine and the idea of new beaches, new waves. I slip and let myself contemplate a summer in Tokyo, two months to explore the rest of Japan on the weekends. It all sounds so appealing. It makes me wonder if I can ever be happy in the present, although I often am, for long periods of time. One day, I plan to own a house with land and ocean proximity will that keep grounded in one place or am I destined to day dream of the next big adventure. Will my American summer become a reality or remain a figment of my dreams? Sunshine would make me so happy right now...summer just left and I am already begging it to come back.

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